Day 22 - Still going down yay!! so why binge??

Hi there
Well I lost another 1lb this week & my BMI has dropped to 35.4 (a drop from 35.5!) - I'm so pleased :0)

Was an interesting week in class as a few people expressed how I was feeling pre-blog ie: 'following the plan but getting nowhere fast', and also I realised that a number of people seem to lose weight more rapidly (I'm not including men here as they almost always lose more rapidly).

I'm very envious of the latter group (a bit of jealousy can be motivating too!) & aspire to join them eventually :)

The first group need a bit of a wake-up in my view just as I did pre-blog! (if you are in that group & reading now please forgive me but this is my blog & honesty is what I promised).

Now I'm not saying everyone needs to write a blog or that I suddenly have all the answers but everyone of us knows that if you really only eat fruit & veg & protein - cooked/prep'd without oil/fat/skin (if we are talking poultry/red meat) & take no sins you have to stay the same as an absolute minimum. If you put on weight eating as above you must have some metabolic or water retaining problem so severe that you need to see a doctor. I know this because I am a pharmacist & know about these things plus I was saying this myself for the last six months - I didn't mean to lie but I did. I even convinced myself (& others) I was telling the truth but the reality was:

1. my menopausal symptoms were causing me to retain fluid & I was bleeding too often resulting in my feeling crap most of the time.
2. I was on HRT which wasn't working & contributed to (1)
3. I was cheating myself because I binged in secret, destroyed the evidence & then pretended it hadn't happened.

The reality now is

1. my menopausal symptoms are causing me to retain fluid
2. I'm on different hormone therapy now which means I'm not bleeding for now & I do feel less crappy.
3. Is still true but happens less often & did happen this afternoon.

I consumed a smoked salmon sandwich, four jam donuts, and half a bag of minstrels before I felt sick & stopped - this is the difference!!

1. I am admitting it to you dear reader (& not just to my sister who is usually the only person I tell)
2. Writing this blog & making a promise to myself to be absolutely honest is making me conscious of my sub-conscious actions (that's the analysis over!)
3. I stopped well short of my capacity to binge, had a good cry & watched Andy Murray win at Queens.

I feel a bit queasy now but pleased I stopped - what I & anyone else who can admit to doing this (its taken me 20 years!) needs to understand is what triggers it????????????????
Why on the day I achieve the thus far unachievable & lose three weeks on the trot, feel really pleased with myself & like I'm 'on my way' do I binge????????

I can't answer this at the moment but will keep exploring it - if you have any ideas please feel free to share.

Lx