Day 9 - being honest & measurements!

So surprisingly I've got to day 9 & I'm still blogging.
I really thought I'd have given up by now & I might have done except that it seems to be helping  me - I lost 3lbs in one week!! I haven't lost that all in one go since I started back at SW - I'm so pleased with myself  :0)

Good food day today & still drinking plenty - I'm still getting up early enough to make myself lunch - it makes such a difference & takes out temptation.
Just had a rather yummy piece of grilled salmon with broccoli & asparagus (I love asparagus) & some rather luscious blackberries from Waitrose - the joint best fruit supplier (with M&S of course!!).

So honesty - I think it's important to be honest with myself especially as in truth I'm talking as much to myself as anyone else who's reading this!
Yesterday after class I went to get Toby's phone fixed & successfully avoided my post-class binge in M&S - however I had to get Toby a snack before I picked him up from Chesham & I chose Costa - big error. A large piece of Victoria Sponge seemed to find its way into the bag & then into my 'gob'!! - I've just found out it is 25 sins (SW allows you 10-15 per day). It was undoubtedly gorgeous but OMG - note to self - go straight home after class & tape over mouth!! It was probably less sins than the mountainous binge I normally have & I was controlled for the rest of the day but still.........

So as penance I'm going to fess up to my weight & measurements - I only have myself to blame: -

As of Monday morning I weigh 19st 3.5lbs - truly disgusting but I'm not going to dwell on it as I'm not going to be that weight again (and last week I weighed 3lbs more - I'll let you do the maths).
Measurements (brace yourselves they aren't pretty)

• Fullest part of bust - 46"
• Under bust - 41"
• Waist - 45"
• Hips - 53" (I thought the tape measure would gasp!!)
• Thigh - 26" (Just one thigh - I think some people have a waist measurement that size!!)
• Arm - 16" (I hate my arms)

Embarrassingly ghastly but there they are - & they'll never be that big again. I'm going to record them every 4 weeks and buy myself a non-food pressie every time I lose 6 inches.

Enough honesty for one evening - I'm going to slump in front of the TV now & catch up on BGT.

Lxx

Day 13 - final thoughts

So it's after 10pm & I'm waiting for Dom.
Have eaten lots of fruit, yoghurt and salad today but not much protein so feeling a bit hungry now. Drank lots of water & went for a short walk in lieu of missing the gym yesterday (not really the same).

My in-laws came over this evening - they've been away for six weeks and came home this morning. Andrew invited them for supper & made bruschetta for five (I had to pass but they did look nice!).

Unfortunately I have that feeling in the pit of my stomach (undefined angst I call it) which i often get when I've seen them & inevitably leads to a binge - so I've left the house too early to pick up Dom with a packet of blackberries, a bottle of water and no money to buy anything. It's working but the UA is threatening to turn to tears - can't help it or explain it - it just is!!

Tomorrow I'm going to the gym early then hoping to see my friend Janine (from Glasgow) who's down for a funeral.
Every cloud.....

Night all xx

Location:Waiting for Dom!

Day 8 - 3lb lost

Yay - I lost 3lbs!!!

Blog plus no choc plus exercise & much better eating - so happy :)

Now off to Carphone Warehouse to get Toby's phone fixed.
Must think of strategy to avoid nipping into M&S for quick post class binge!!
Wish me luck.
Lx

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Location:Slimming world class

Day 7 - interesting evening

Happy Sunday one and all :)

Early start for me today as had to drop Tobz in Chesham at 8:30 - who decides these things!!

Anyway have already had breakfast and done my circuits (Curves in Mill Hill) - now off to do some food shopping.

Had lovely evening last night - treated myself to a glass of red and really enjoyed my meal mostly because I was able to choose straight from menu & no one had dessert so I didn't feel I was missing out.
But, I did share a delicious plate of fried zucchini with my friend and the effect on my bowels was anything but delicious (enough said)!! I guess it was the oil but my body didn't like it so I'll be avoiding fried food for a while.

Lx


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Location:Abbots Rd,Barnet,United Kingdom

Day 6

Good day so far - unusually have had day to myself.

Went to see my sister this morning - made some decisions about our dad's 80th birthday in October. Also talked weight loss ( or lack of it - mine not hers ) & Eastenders - we're a particularly emotional pair!!

Then off to see mum & dad

Food so far - ryvita crackerbread (6) with smoked roe & smoked salmon with a couple of hard boiled eggs.
Also rediscovered Earl Grey tea this morning - two cups!!
Had a nectarine & coffee at Joanne's and pear & coffee with mum.

Then, went shopping for me!! A rarity in itself.
I decided that if I'm going to be successful I need to pay more attention to how I look - something that has lapsed over the last few months.
Had a fab time in Boots buying some nice body cream & scrub (Clarins) & refreshed my makeup.
Also bought some new perfume so really treated myself!!

Out to dinner tonight - probably my first big challenge. We are out with good friends who are used to me dieting but it's about how I feel really. I know the theory about not missing out on anything but the reality is I won't be able to have exactly what I want - and I hate that!!
However I will plough on regardless & think about the long game.

Lxx

PS: Madeline (video-blogger extraordinaire) has posted her measurements - she's so brave and it's made me think about how much I'm prepared to reveal....


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Location:Potter Street Hill,Harrow,United Kingdom

Day 5 - exercise & phones !!

So today is day 5!

Had very pleasant time at drinks reception - stuck to fizzy mineral water and just two or three of the yummy nibbles handed around (strategically avoiding the fish & chip cones).

But it was a 'standing' function and because of the weight I'm carrying those things are always uncomfortable for me - it occasionally leads me into 'sod it' mode but not last night!!

Came home and had some cold meat & salad with pickles as was quite hungry.

So this morning up early, dropped Tobz at school (monkey was too late for coach), collected the tuba then off to the gym.

THE GYM - not my favourite location but it has to be done & actually although I'm usually dreading it when I come out I always feel mildly victorious (as well as hot & sweaty!!)
But it has to be done as I can't bear the fact that I have so little stamina & feel knackered most of the time - and it burns calories of yucky fat :0).
Also where I go you use a tag to record activity on the machines in the circuit & at the end you put the tag into a computer and it tells you which bits you've exercised properly & which you haven't - this means that I can't coast round kidding myself I'm exercising properly:)
So today I burned 496 calories & have to work harder on the machines for my bum & inner thighs - but my tum, boobs & flabby arms had a good workout!!!

Just back from lunch with Julie - was starving as had only had water and a satsuma this morning.

Had scrambled eggs and smoked salmon on (dry) toast with a latte made with skim milk - yummy & healthy.

Back home now and waiting for the lovely Natasha to come & do my nails & wax me - it has to be done!!!

Laters!!



- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Location:Home

Day 4 - waste

Just on my way to a drinks reception in Temple to celebrate our friend becoming a QC - first big challenge this week.
Having an apple now & hoping they'll be lots of diet coke!!

Btw have you noticed that when you eat better & drink more you naturally get more exercise??

Lx


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Day 4 (Plus end of day 3!!)

So yesterday was very busy & then when I tried to finish my blog we had no internet at home - not unusual but still irritating :(

Still, as far as yesterday's food goes -I came back from my meeting & ate lunch as well as a big plate of yummy english strawberries (they really are the best!) & ff nat yog. Drank coffee & loads of water (2L in all yesterday). Worked hard yesterday afternoon & realised that for the first time in ages I didn't feel like I needed a snooze - sounds ridiculous because I obviously resist the urge but I find myself very unproductive in the afternoon. Better eating habits - time will tell?

Very hectic when I got home from work as Dom needed testing (Philosophy AS level as we speak) & Tobz needed taking & collecting from JLGB - Wed evening is very hectic chez Olins! I also realised I was thirsty not hungry so had a banana at some point but nothing else - very rare!

So today is day 4.

Breakfast was a big glass of water, 28g Minibix (choc ones - 11 makes up 28g) with rasberries & my milk allowance & I've just eaten a peach & having my first Nespresso of the day in the office.

I was trying to think back to when I did the Cambridge Diet & what it was in my head that meant I kept going on such a restrictive regime (without cheating) for almost a year. I think it was two things - fabulous consultant (Gayle) and the fact that everyone at work/family/friends knew I was doing it. Also that I was prepared to talk openly about it & so if I wasn't following though EVERYONE would know. It was also quite a traumatic (bit dramatic - maybe difficult would be better) year in my life. My Booba died - she was in her 90s but we are a close family and was my last grandparent so it was very sad for me. Then two months later A's grandma died & then started a major family disaster (not over-stated) that lasts to this day and is unlikely to be resolved. It caused us great pain & continues to do so - it was so unlike anything that had ever (or would ever) happen in my family that I found it incomprehensible. In the same year we moved house too - best thing we ever did although it was our third move in six years so didn't feel like it at the time!
BUT throughout all that I continued to live on four sachets of soup/shakes & the odd bar. I did not gobble chocolate in mega quantities at alarming speed, eat massive sandwiches & speed it gorgeous M&S choc cookies (binge food of choice) IN SECRET!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The interesting thing is that I think the outlet of the restrictive diet plus Gayle to talk too was my me time & kept me going! The other thing that kept me going was my fab sister who is always there for support as well as appropriate criticism.

Introspection over for now.........must do some work. Have a good day.
Lx

Day 3 - update

10:19 Water, coffee, apple & satsuma consumed at work - very hungry this morning!! Not sure why but at least I was prepared so no choc :)

Have been thinking about why I don't maintain the losses because I hate looking so lumpy & love the slim feeling. Will explore further but now off to meeting.


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Location:Ridgeway,Welwyn Garden City,United Kingdom

Day 3 (5th day without chocolate)

Morning all

I think I'm having choc withdrawal - I kid you not. Have woken up with major headache & very thirsty. Still on the plus side - I feel like I've achieved something - baby steps are good :0)

Just made my lunch (huge salad with eggs & sardines) and put some fruit & yoghurt in a bag so much better prepared today.

Breakfast today is 2 Weetabix with lots of luscious raspberries and 250ml SS milk (plus a liberal sprinkling of Slenda to sort my sugar cravings)

Now for ten mins me time before I wake up Tobz and the daily grind begins - I like these quiet few minutes.

Enjoy your day
Lx

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Location:Home

Day 2 - extra bit

Just out of very interesting meeting but very hungry - quick drive home for food :)

I resisted yummy looking desserts and bread/butter etc.

Thanks again for your support xx


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Day 2 - boring but essential stuff

So today I've decided to think about what I'm eating because I routinely don't!!
I think I do but really I only 'remember' the free/superfree foods & my A&B boxes - so all the fruit and veg and salad plus my breakfast but I forget all the 'sins' - chocolate, biscuits, butter, bread - all the yummie stuff that is padding my chin, upper arms & bum!!

So today I've had
Breakfast - 2 Weetabix, a banana, some raspberries and 250ml SS milk
Mid morning - Irish yog
Lunch - poor planning so had tuna salad roll ( no butter or dressing) plus two satsumas

Have drank 2l water us two blk coffees.

No chocolate!!

I'm just going to an evening meeting - food is provided but not likely to allow me good choices but I'll do my best.

Lesson learned today - planning!!!




- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Location:Home & work

Location:UofH

Additional info

Forgot to say I'm following SW & have a really good group leader who had kept me going!

I'm back on track this week but it's taken a while.




- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Location:Home

Day one - again!!!!

So today is day one again :)
Yesterday, on my home from the gym, I started to think about when I'd been successful at losing weight & I realised I could remember 3 times

1. Just before my wedding - 3.5 stone on Jenny Craig (weighed 12.5st on my wedding day)
2. SW - lost 3.5 stone in the year before I got pregnant with Dom (got pregnant before reaching goal). Had Toby too but never lost baby weight :(
3. 5 years ago lost 9 stone on Cambridge Diet - aamaazing :) BUT reached goal (12.5st) just before christmas & never really did maintenance.

I've also had some hypnotherapy - great for stress but not for weight loss & some cognitive therapy with my wonderful CD counsellor.

I never seem to see it through to the 'end' so I'm a yo-yoer of enormous proportions - but what connects these three events was that I was doing it for myself.
In my head that means I'm being selfish!!
I'm a nurturer by nature & all my energy goes in to that - husband, kids (two mega-boys that I love to bits), parents, work, house, friends then me. I know this but have never allowed myself to say it out loud without being in floods of tears - messy & not productive.

Someone I've only known for a short while has started a videoblog via FB & she inspired me to start again on my weight shedding journey (her great words) - & imitation being the sincerest form of flattery , I'm starting this blog.


Even if I'm talking to myself it will help!